for my graceful sisterwho knew not grace
beautiful in her clumsy form
breaking my heart
as it could only be broken
.
have I done you wrong?
waiting up all night
to check your breathing
and the pressure in your skull?
.
did we weep too soon, too early?
not enough?
did I laugh too quick?
did I forget or remember too much?
.
you push me to the edge
I cannot help but face it
I cannot help but face it
the uncertain depth
the brittle helplessness
of the air we breath
.
I am running, have run
but can no longer get away
you are here, not here
no, not here! not ever again!
this is real, forever and binding
I am left to discover myself
where do I lie? what is my angst?
where do I set myself down again?
.
what is my repose? my rest?
where do I go to glimpse the light?
my path?
with what eyes do I behold the light
and your grace?
is it sufficient?
2 comments:
my brother,
i appreciated so much your post to your blog. i feel the angst as well. i hoped it would get better by now but it hurts more the longer she is gone and with the more losses i find that were all encompassed in her sudden passing. may Father somehow redeem our pain and loss in some unforseen way. may He meet us in our groping, aching, angst.
Dear matthew,
This gave me a peek into your heart and the pain you feel. Even though the light is dimmed it continues on in all the lives that Shannon touched.
I hope this week will be a good one as you spend time with your family.
I am continuing to lift them up in my thoughts and prayers.
A hug for you and them,
Linda
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